Jeff and Annie's Unconventional Sitcom Wedding
by moeexyz
Summary: Jeff tries to keep everything running smoothly while Annie get's ready for their wedding. He's not very good at it. From a prompt at M/M.
1. Part One

A/N - From a Ficcy Friday prompt on M/M.

XXX

**Jeff and Annie's Unconventional Sitcom Wedding**

"Relax, I'll take care of everything." is what Jeff said to Annie that morning. After months and months of her violently planning every last detail to the point of perfection, Jeff was going to make sure that nothing could possible happen to ruin this day for her. This was her day. Of course, in the midst of assuring her that he would take care of everything, Jeff forgot one minor detail, the rest of the study group existed. This alone was confirmation that everything would go wrong. But Jeff didn't know it that morning.

The wedding was being held in the gigantic garden of Pierce's mansion, and then the reception would be in Pierce's over-sized dining hall. The morning started out fine. Annie was busy in one of the many bedrooms in Pierce's mansion, with Shirley, getting her hair done. Jeff was outside waiting for Abed and Britta to arrive with his clothes for the wedding. Abed was supposed to pick them up from the dry-cleaners days before, but he was too busy, since Annie had made him her party planner. Her logic was that if he could direct a movie, than why shouldn't he be able to direct a wedding. Jeff agreed with her despite the doubt that was dancing in the back of his mind. It's not that he didn't think Abed was capable, it was just that Abed happened to like doing things his own way, sometimes that could be problematic.

But it wasn't Abed that he was worried about when they got there. It was Britta. More like Britta's clothes.

"What are you wearing?" Jeff asked. Britta looked down at her clothes. She was wearing an over-sized men's T-shirt with Beavis and Butt-head on it, jeans and her usual leather jacket.

"What?" She asked.

"You're very casual" Jeff pointed out.

"So?"

"So, it's a wedding, Britta. Couldn't you have put on a nice dress or something?"

Britta shrugged. "I don't believe in marriage, I'm not gonna encourage it more by wearing a dress. That would be kind of hypocritical of me, Jeff."

Jeff rolled his eyes. Of course, she'd do this. This was classic Britta, but did she have to be Britta on his wedding day? "You could have worn something a little nicer though, don't you think?"

"What's wrong with this?" She asked, slightly insulted.

"Gee, I don't know, maybe it's the two heavy-metal fans on your shirt" Jeff said.

"But, I love Beavis and Butt-head" Britta whined.

Jeff decided to just leave her. He'd figure out Britta's wardrobe malfunction later, right now, he still had to make sure the caterer's had the right menu, and check the cake, (because Troy was somewhere in the same building as wedding cake, and that wasn't a good combination). He sent Britta off to see Annie, and told Abed to leave his clothes in the bathroom he was using before, heading to the kitchen.

XXX

Shirley sneezed, for the seventh time in the last twenty minutes. Normally this wouldn't bother Annie but today she was extra jumpy. She'd left Jeff in charge. Jeff Winger. Sure, she loved him, and trusted him, but this wedding was her masterpiece. She'd never organized anything as well as she'd organized this wedding, to her it was a work of art. She couldn't stay relaxed whilst knowing that Jeff was in charge of her masterpiece. Granted he had Abed, but it's not like Abed could control the entire outcome of a wedding.

Shirley sneezed again. Annie snapped. "Shirley for the love of God take something for your cold!" She squealed so quickly that it amazed her that Shirley understood.

"I don't have a _gold_" Shirley said. She obviously had her nose blocked from the sound of things, and the little sniff she did after she spoke wasn't very reassuring. There was also the violent fit of coughs she went through every half hour.

"Shirley, you can't even say the word cold. Please, just take something" Annie begged. Shirley shook her head.

"I'm not _sigg_ Annie, I don't need-" But before Shirley could finish, her violent coughs found her again. Annie would have said something more but Britta walked in, not in the dress Annie had picked out. Why wasn't she wearing the dress? Was she trying to ruin Annie's life?

"Hey, happy wedding day!" Britta said hugging Annie, who was still staring wide-eyed at the ugly cartoon on her shirt.

"What is that?" Was all Annie could muster.

"Beavis and Butt-head" Britta said with a grin.

"Who?"

"Oh you're not that _younk_!" Shirley snapped, holding a tissue up to her nose.

"Britta, where's your dress?"

"I don't wear uniform for something I don't believe in. That's like wearing a Harry Potter cloak in the real world" Britta said.

"Harry Potter could be real" Annie said.

"Ugh, that would suck. I hate Harry Potter" Britta said taking a seat beside Annie.

"Of course, _you_ would."

"Buzz_gill_" Shirley muttered. Britta frowned at them as Atalay, the hairstylist, walked in.

"Hair doing time" He said with a thick German accent. "Ready?"

"Yes, please Atalay" Annie said, smiling at him from the mirror.

XXX

"What the hell?"

"What's the problem Mr Winger?" The head caterer asked.

"You're making pork chops!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Yes, it's what we were told to make" Head caterer said.

"You can't make pork, half the people here are Jewish. The bride is Jewish! She couldn't have told you to make this."

"Oh, Ms Edison didn't ask us to make this. We got a call from her party planner telling us there was a change of plan. He had some crazy Palestinian name."

"Abed Nadir?"

"That's the one."

Jeff sighed angrily. Abed was up to something. But why did it have to be today? He could have any day of the year to ruin a party, he was in a group of seven friends. That was seven birthday parties he could ruin. Of all the parties in a year, why did it have to be their wedding?

"You have to make something else" Jeff told the head caterer.

"We can't, we only brought supplies for this, it's already half ready. Unless there are some other supplies in this house, there's nothing we can do Mr Winger."

Jeff doubted that Pierce had anything in his house work consuming except for some aging whiskey. "Okay, I'll go see what I can do about the ingredients. Just don't make anymore food until I get back" Jeff said as he stormed out of the kitchen. He needed to find Abed, and quick, before any of this got back to Annie.

He checked the bedroom where he'd sent Abed last, but of course, there was no Abed. He didn't want to bother looking for Abed in Pierce's massive house, that was like an impossible game of _Where's Waldo._ There was only one way to find Abed, and that was to find Troy. And Troy wasn't in the kitchen when Jeff went in there, which meant he was probably staring lustfully at the wedding cake. And the wedding cake was in the kitchen of Pierce's guesthouse. Jeff went out to the garden which was decorated by about a hundred chairs. Some family were already sitting, waiting for the wedding to start. It was mostly grandparents. And then, something horrible caught his eye. His mom was sitting in the front row giggling like a schoolgirl, at something Pierce said.

"What the hell?" Jeff exclaimed, power walking to them.

"Jeffrey, why didn't you tell me you were spawned from Aphrodite?" Pierce asked with a grin. Margaret Winger giggled. Jeff felt a stress headache beginning to form.

"Oh Pierce, stop it, you're embarrassing me" Margaret said, playfully hitting Pierce on the shoulder.

"Yeah Pierce, stop it!" Jeff said, through gritted teeth.

"Well how could anyone ever stop complimenting her, she's absolutely radiant. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was the one getting married today" Pierce said. Margaret blushed. Jeff's hands curled into fists.

"Pierce, can I talk to you?" Jeff forced a smile so his mother wouldn't know anything was wrong.

"Can it wait?"

"No!" Jeff exclaimed, even though Pierce had barely gotten the words out. Pierce begrudgingly got up and walked away with Jeff.

"Can we make this quick, you're totally cock-blocking me" Pierce said, with annoyance.

"That's the point, Pierce."

Pierce's eyebrows met. "I thought we were wingmen, why would you do this to me?" Jeff had to give it to him, he did look a little hurt.

"Um, I don't know, maybe because she's my mom!" Jeff said.

"Yeah, MILF!" Pierce said with a grin. Jeff stared at him for several seconds, and then slapped him across the face. Pierce held his cheek and blinked with shock. "You just slapped me!" He said with outrage.

"You deserved it" Jeff retorted.

Pierce shook his head with disapproval. "Margaret did not raise you to be a bully, Jeffrey."

Jeff got ready to slap him again, but was interrupted by some one tapping his shoulder. He turned to see the photographer standing behind him with a ripped shirt and a busted lip.

"What the hell?" Turns out Jeff was saying that a lot, lately.

"I'm sorry Mr Winger, but I'm afraid I have to quit."

"What? Why?" Jeff was starting to panic now. Why was the world doing this to him?

"Well, a friend of my enemy is technically also my enemy. And you've made some very unfortunate friends Mr Winger."

"You don't say" Jeff muttered. "Was it Abed?"

"Who? No, it was T-Bone" He whispered the name with disdain, and then walked away.

"Where's Troy?" Jeff asked Pierce.

"Last I saw him, he was by the wedding cake" Pierce said. Of course he was.

"Okay, wait here" Jeff told him as he began to the guesthouse. "And stay away from my mom!"

XXX

"_Fertig_" Atalay said, and then he clapped his hands together at what he thought was a masterpiece. Britta and Shirley started at Annie's hair with open mouths.

"Well, what do you guys think?" Annie squeaked.

"It's beautiful" Atalay said. Annie turned to look at Britta for confirmation. Britta forced a smile on her face and nodded slowly.

"It's something alright" She said.

"Shirley?"

"_Id's_ nice" Shirley told her with a little too much emphasis on the word nice.

Annie's hair was piled up on the top of her head in massive dark curls. They were so high, they looked like a poodle was sitting on her head. It was probably the most horrible hairstyle Shirley and Britta had ever seen. "You guys really think it looks good?" Annie asked, her voice dripping with insecurity.

"Of course!" Atalay said before Shirley and Britta could tell her the harsh truth. "It's fabulous!"

Instead of telling Annie the truth, and insulting Atalay in the process, Shirley and Britta just plastered fake smiles on their faces and tried to be as convincing as possible.

"Who will be next?" Atalay asked. Britta and Shirley both shook their heads.

"I'm not doing my hair" Britta said, apologetically.

"I have..." Shirley trailed off trying to think of something to say. "Lice! I have lice." Everyone's expression changed to one of disgust.

"Okay, then I am finished, I guess" Atalay said. He gave Annie a half-hug, and left. Annie was still staring at her hair in the mirror. She tried to imagine herself years from now, looking at her wedding photos. Seeing Britta in her stupid _Butt-face and Beef-head_ shirt. She saw herself standing at the alter with Jeff. He was looking handsome, of course, in some expensive tux that had taken him weeks to pick because he was so fussy about his looks. And then she saw herself beside him, with something that resembled a dog, on her head. She wasn't sure what to make of that. It wasn't exactly what she pictured herself looking like at her wedding, and it seemed stupid to be freaking out over this, she was getting married today. She should be ecstatic, but all she could think of was the awful _thing_ on her head. Shirley and Britta seemed to like it, so it couldn't possibly be _that_ bad. Right?

XXX

"What the hell happened between you and the photographer?" Jeff asked Troy when he finally found him. He was in the guesthouse, sitting on a half broken chair, with a bloody nose and black eye, and his tux completely torn apart.

"I can't believe you hired _D-Dog _to be your photographer, I thought we were friends Jeff."

"I don't think we're talking about the same guy" Jeff said, in confusion.

"Donald Dennis, he went to football camp with me when we were kids. He was the only kid who was as good as me, so we became rivals, I can't stand that guy! He's a douche-bag" Troy explained.

"Well, I hate to sound like I don't care about your problems, but I'm supposed to be getting ready for my wedding right now only I have to find some kosher food" Jeff said. Troy opened his mouth to reply but Jeff continued. "And I have to keep Pierce away from my mom." Troy tried to speak again. "_And_, thanks to you, I _also_ need to find a new photographer."

"Why don't you just ask Abed. He knows camera stuff" Troy said.

"Because I think Abed's conspiring against me."

Troy shrugged and wiped some blood off his shirt. He laughed to himself a little.

"What?" Jeff asked.

"Annie's gonna kill you" Troy said still smiling to himself.

Troy was right, she probably would kill him. And then Shirley and Britta would kill him for making Annie so upset. And her parents would kill him for ruining her wedding day. And then she'd never marry him, and he'd live sad and alone with some creepy chameleon called Maurice, in the house all the kids would play _Ding Dong Ditch _on, and egg on Hallowe'en. He really needed to find Abed before his life was destroyed.

"Troy, where's Abed?" Jeff asked with the most urgency he'd ever used before.

"You know, for once, I don't know." Troy's eyes were wide in amazement at the amount of time he'd spent away from his other half. "Oh no, what if he's dead?" He began to panic.

"I don't know, but if he's not I could probably arrange something" Jeff mumbled to himself as he walked away, on his quest for Abed.

"If you find him, tell him not to go into the light!" Troy called out with complete seriousness.

XXX

Annie paced around the bedroom. Britta got peckish so she'd gone to sneak some food from the kitchen and Shirley was in the bathroom so she could be beside the toilet paper, since they'd run out of Kleenex. Annie had already finished her make up, and decided not to look in the mirror so she could avoid looking at her hair. She was growing deeply nervous. Here she was freaking out about her looks, while Jeff was probably out there running her perfect wedding. She wanted to be out there with him. She really liked running things. Plus, she really wanted to see Jeff. She wanted him to tell her her hair looked beautiful, and then hug her and kiss her, and tell her this would be the best wedding ever. Damn, she missed Jeff. She started looking through Shirley's purse, so she could use her phone to call him and ask him how his day was going, but her grandmother walked in. She was followed by a young man, who didn't look more than two years older than Annie. He had dark hair and was wearing a Jewish cap on his head.

"Grandma, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you were doing Kitten, you look beautiful" Grandma said with a smile. Annie felt less assured that her hair was fine. Grandma had very questionable taste. One Christmas she got Annie a hideous lime green coloured pair of shorts. First of all, shorts? And second, _lime _green?

"And who's this?" Annie asked politely, at the guy behind Grandma. He smiled shyly at Annie.

"Annie, this is Salomon, he's a very nice boy from our synagogue, but I don't think you've met." Annie rolled her eyes. Only Grandma would have the nerve to do this on her wedding day.

"It's nice to meet you, Salomon" Annie said politely, shaking his hand.

"He's very handsome, isn't he Kitten?" Grandma said with a wink.

"Not as handsome as Jeff" Annie said with a smirk, before adding, "No offense."

"None taken."

"Well you know, Salomon here's a doctor. He saves lives, does Jeff save lives?" Grandma asked, trying to make it sound like an innocent question rather than an undermining one.

"No, he just defends drunk drivers from going to jail. Oh my goodness, what am I marrying into?" Annie said sarcastically, while glaring at Grandma. She gave Salomon another polite smile.

"Well, you know it's not too late to back out?" Grandma said, not catching on.

"Do you want to be here?" Annie asked Salomon. He shook his head. "Then go" She told him. He walked away quickly. "Grandma, I'm marrying Jeff" Annie said.

"Why can't you marry a nice _Jewish_ boy?" Grandma moaned, like some spoiled child not getting her way.

"Because, I'm perfectly happy with my Agnostic one!"

"Do you really want your kids to grow up with a father who doesn't believe in anything?"

"If that father is Jeff than yes, I do." Grandma frowned at Annie, who frowned back.

"It's just, he's so wrong for you" Grandma said.

"Really? 'Cos you're the only person who thinks so" Annie replied. "Jeff loves me, and I love him, and the thought of not being with him for the rest of my life makes me want to cry. Do you really want me to spend the rest of my life crying, or do you want me to be happy with my non-Jewish husband who loves me just as much as you do?"

Grandma looked at the floor. "I guess I want you to be happy" She mumbled.

Annie smiled. "Thanks Grandma."

"But you have to promise me you won't let him corrupt your children's minds with his silly 'believe it when I see it crap'."

"I promise."

Grandma smiled and hugged her granddaughter. "I'm so proud of you, Kitten."

XXX

The wedding was supposed to start in half an hour and Jeff was still in his normal clothes, looking for Abed. He had come to the conclusion that there was some one sabotaging his wedding and using Abed's name, or Abed just hated that he and Annie were getting married. There was no other logical reason for him to be doing the things he was doing. It turned out, as well as the pork chop debacle, Abed was the one who'd hired Donald "D-Dog" Dennis, probably knowing full well about his rivalry with Troy. He also gave the guy who was supposed to be playing guitar for them a joint, and now the guy refused to play the wedding because he thought his hands were too big. And worst of all, he'd paid Shirley's sons twenty dollars each to trample all the flowers. Jeff remembered Annie obsessing over days and days about the arrangement of those flowers. If she saw this, she'd probably go on pills again. Jeff, however, was currently taking the less harmful approach, and was letting his headache bubble up into anger towards Abed. Some party planner her was.

And being angry at Abed, didn't take away from the fear of Annie's wrath when she inevitably found out what happened. "Relax" Jeff had told her, "I'll take care of everything." How could he be such a moron? How could he possibly think he could take care of this? With _their_ friends? Not a chance. Abed was an evil genius, who wanted to destroy this wedding. Jeff was basically a dead man.

He went to the bedroom to go get ready, he could finish hunting down Abed when he was dressed to get married. Of course, the first thing Jeff saw when he walked in was Abed sitting on the bed, waiting for him.

"There you are" Abed said with his usual aloofness. "The wedding will start soon, and traditionally it's the bride that's late, but if you really want, I think we could make it work for you." He handed Jeff a hanger with his clothes and then walked out of the room without another word. Jeff stood there for a moment, feeling a little astounded. He started to think maybe Abed did want to help, and everything else were just some crazy, twisted, Abed way of doing so. He changed his mind when he saw the colour of his dress shirt.

"Abed!" Jeff yelled as he stormed out of the bedroom shirtless. "Why is my shirt pink?"

"I didn't know your shirt was pink. It must have been washed with a red sock. Happens all the time" Abed said, unphazed by Jeff's fury.

"Really, are sure it happens all the time, or maybe you just switched them!" Jeff said pointing an accusing finger at Abed. Abed frowned.

"Why would I do that?"

"Gee, I don't know. Why would you order pork when you knew the bride's family was Jewish. Why would you hire Troy's arch nemisis, why would you pay little boys to trample our flowers?"

"You know about the flowers?"

"I know about everything, Abed!" Jeff shouted angrily. "Are you trying to ruin our wedding?"

"No, just make it fit our genre" Abed stated, simply.

"What?"

"After years of observation, I've deducted that we're a comedy. And in comedy weddings everything always goes wrong, so that the bride and groom can freak out and eventually realize that they don't care as long as they get married in the end. But Annie planned this wedding so perfectly that nothing could possibly go wrong on it's own. So I convinced her to make me her party planner, and started throwing wrenches in the works" Abed explained.

"So you've been purposely making things go wrong just so we'd fit our genre better?" Jeff repeated. Abed nodded.

"Okay, three things. One, you're an evil genius."

"Thank you."

"Two, were not a TV shoe Abed! There are no viewers watching everything go wrong right now. There's just you ruining our wedding because you're really weird!" Jeff shouted. Abed shrugged.

"And third, are you nuts! Annie'll kill you, and then she'll kill me, and when I meet you in hell,_ I'll _kill you!"

Abed cocked his head at Jeff, something behind Jeff caught his eye, because Jeff saw him smile and wave. He turned around to see Dean Pelton standing there in a tux, with some one dressed as a dalmation on his arm. Jeff turned back to Abed.

"You invited Dean Pelton?" Abed nodded. Jeff suddenly remembered how shirtless he was, and put the pink shirt on quickly, buttoning it as the Dean walked towards them.

"Abed, nice to see you again" He said. Abed nodded back politely. "And Jeffrey, congratulations on your wedding! I wish you and Annie the happiest of marriages" The dean said, patting Jeff on the chest. His hand lingered there for a little too long, and Jeff started feeling very violated.

"Thank you, Dean Pelton" He said, glaring at Abed from the corner of his eye.

"Also, I was wondering if I was permitted to have some one paint a mural in study group room F of you and Annie. You know, since that's where it all began" the dean said with an enthusiastic smile.

"You want to paint a mural of Annie and me?" The dean nodded. Jeff sighed.

"Yeah, sure, do whatever you want" He said, and then he walked away without a second glance.

"You're not done getting dressed" Abed called out to him.

"What's the point?" Jeff called back. He turned a corner and then he was gone.

XXX

Annie stared at herself in the mirror. Shirley, Britta and her mother all stood behind her in awe. Her hair may have been the most atrocious thing that could ever be done to hair, but her dress was beautiful. It wasn't just a wedding dress, it was a work of art. Annie felt like she was wearing a magic dress, and anyone who wore it would immediately look like the most beautiful person in the universe. She felt just how she always knew she should feel on her wedding day, like a princess. And she knew at that moment, that there was absolutely nothing that could possibly ruin this feeling for her. The magic dress would keep her happy for all eternity.

"Annie, you look amazing" Britta said, breaking the awestruck silence that had been going on for the last ten minutes.

"I wish...I _looged_ half as _goot_ as...you on my _weddink..._day" Shirley said, between sniffs.

"Mom, what do you think?" Mrs Edison was in tears.

"You look so beautiful" She said, hugging her daughter. "I can't believe my little girl's getting married." She was grinning at Annie's reflection.

"Me either" Annie said, with a giddy sigh. There was a knock on the bedroom door.

"Who there?'

"Abed" Abed's voice said.

"Abed who?" Troy's voice replied, with enthusiasm. Britta opened the door.

"Hey we need to talk to..." Abed began to say, but trailed off when he saw Annie. Instead all he could muster was "Wow."

"Hot damn" Troy said.

"What do you guys think?" Annie said, self-consciously.

"I think you're like the hottest bride ever" Troy said. Abed nodded in agreement. Annie gave them a shy smile.

"Do you think Jeff will like it?"

Troy and Abed shared a look. Then, they both smiled really awkwardly and nodded.

"He'll love it" Abed said.

"How could he not?" Troy added, quickly, in an almost panicky tone. Annie beamed at them.

"So listen, we need to talk to Britta, outside" Troy said. He and Abed walked out quickly, followed by a confused Britta.

"What's up?" Britta asked.

"We have a situation" Troy said.

"What sort of situation?" Britta's eyebrows joined together, in suspicion.

"Well, to put it delicately, it seems that Jeff thought that it would be a good idea to-" Troy began, but Abed explained for him.

"Jeff's gone."

"What?" Britta exclaimed, rage took over her faster than the speed of light.

"Abed drove him crazy" Troy said. Abed rolled his eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Abed gave me some long explanation that I didn't really listen to, which usually means he drove some one crazy" Troy said.

"We can't find him anywhere" Abed told her.

"That bastard!" Britta exclaimed. She needed to find Jeff, not so she could tell him what a douchebag he was, and not to make him come back. She needed to find him so she could beat his face to a pulp. "I can't believe he'd do that to Annie!"

"We need to find him, before the wedding starts" Abed said.

"What about Annie?" Britta asked.

"We can't tell Annie. This would destroy her" Abed told them.

"Than what do we do?"

"We split up to find Jeff, and make him marry her" Troy said.

"Like the gang did to Chandler on Friends" Abed added.

"We've already got Pierce on it. He's with Jeff's mom seeing where would be a good place to look" Troy said.

"I'm going to kill him when I find him" Britta said, and walked away on her quest for Jeff Winger head on a stick.

"I never knew homicidal threats happened so often at weddings" Abed said to Troy.

"I thought homicide was the type of stuff you find in soil."

"You're thinking of humus."

"I'm pretty sure it's homicide."

"Let's just find Jeff."


	2. Part Two

A/N - Threw in some abed Britta for everyone. Also the group visiting the mural part was eleventhimpala's idea on LJ.

XXX

**Jeff and Annie's Unconventional Sitcom Wedding**

Annie sat on the bed waiting impatiently. The wedding would be starting soon and Britta had run off somewhere with Troy and Abed, Shirley was in the bathroom sneezing to her heart's content, her hair was still bothering her, and she really needed to pee. She waited another two minutes for Shirley to finish, but the older woman had been hogging the bathroom practically all day, and probably wasn't going to give it up anytime soon. Annie decided that she'd just go in one of the many other bathroom's in the Hawthorne mansion. She wrapped the bedsheet around herself so no one would be able to see her dress, and wandered out of the room. She checked a few doors but none of them were bathrooms. As it turned out, Pierce had a lot of pointless empty rooms. After turning two corners in the maze that was Pierce's home, she eventually found a small bathroom. (Well, it was small for Pierce's house). All that was in it was a tap, a toilet and Annie guessed a bathtub, which prevented her from fully opening the door. There wasn't even a mirror. She walked in ready to go, but then something scared her.

"Annie?" Annie screamed, and turned around to see her future husband sitting in the bathtub, with a pink shirt, and an open bottle of scotch in his hand.

"Jeff, what are you doing here?"

"Hiding" He said, taking a swig of the scotch and then making a face at the burn.

"From who?" Annie pulled down the lid of the toilet and sat on it.

"The horrible people we call our friends" He said.

"Why, what did they do?"

Jeff wondered if he should tell her about all the disasters that Abed had been causing. On one hand, she'd kill him. But on the other hand, she'd probably find out about it anyway, seeing as they were supposed to be getting married in twenty minutes. "Well, for starters, Pierce and my mom have gotten very friendly. I could be calling him dad soon."

Annie began to laugh, but stopped herself when she saw how horrified Jeff was by the entire thing. "That's not so bad" she tried. Jeff gaved her an "oh really?" look.

"But it's Pierce. Racist, creepy, Pierce. And my mom. Imagine Pierce and your mom, and then tell me it's not so bad."

Annie thought about it, and then shivered at the thought. "Well, it's no reason to hide in the bathroom" She told him.

"Oh that's not the worst of it. Troy got our photographer to quit. The caterer's are making pork. Our guitarist is high. Dean Pelton wants to paint us on a mural. Shirley's boys trampled our flowers. Abed's evil. My shirt is pink. And have you seen what Britta's wearing?"

Annie looked confused. "Dean Pelton's here?"

"Abed invited him, it's part of the whole evil thing."

"Okay, and what about the flowers?" Jeff panicked. Annie put her sweat and tears into that flower arrangement. She was going to explode.

"Um, Abed paid Jordan and Elijah to step on them" Jeff muttered.

"You mean, my perfect flower arrangement is destroyed?" Annie asked. Her voice was squeaky, and she had a deranged smile on her face. Jeff could practically see steam flying out of her ears.

"Well, you know, they're still in the same arrangement, they're just kind of dead" Jeff said, cautiously.

"Jeff, sweetie, why didn't you fix it?" She asked, through gritted teeth.

"I didn't know how to fix it, I was up against Abed, I can't win against him."

"So, what? Now I'm supposed to get married without flowers? 'Cos that's crazy Jeff! what am I, Homeless?" She yelled. Jeff winced. He'd never seen her reach this level of shrillness before. It scared the crap out of him.

"Annie, I don't think homeless people get married at all."

"Can it, Snarky!" She shouted. Jeff sunk a little further in the bathtub. "I am not getting married without my flowers!"

"Well technically, it's not like you have a photographer or food either" Jeff pointed out.

"That's it! I'm going to murder Abed!" Annie shouted and then stormed out of the bathroom. Jeff followed her with a grin. Damn she was hot when she was angry.

XXX

Britta came to Annie's door to see Pierce, Troy and Abed all standing outside.

"What is it?" Britta asked.

"Annie called me off of Shirley's phone. She sounded angry. I think she knows" Abed explained.

"Oh crap! I'm gonna kill Jeff!" Britta exclaimed.

"I think before we kill Jeff, we should make sure Annie's okay. 'Cos you guys know if she starts crying, we're stuck with her for the rest of the day" Troy said.

"Yeah we know Troy, we were there for the Thanksgiving incident of 2013" Britta said, glaring a Pierce.

"For the last time, it's not my fault. It was dark, anyone could have made that mistake" Pierce said. Britta and Troy shook their heads at him.

"Focus! We need to find a way to comfort Annie without making her cry" Abed said, and knocked on the door.

The door was opened by a grinning Jeff. Troy and Pierce gasped. Abed frowned and cocked his head. Britta punched Jeff in the chest.

"Britta, what the hell?" Jeff held his chest in pain.

"You ran away!" Britta exclaimed.

"Yes, clearly. Even though I'm standing in Annie's room, I obviously ran away" Jeff said,sarcastically. Still rubbing the spot where Britta punched him.

Britta squeaked out a small "Oops."

"But we couldn't find you anywhere" Troy said.

"I do have a cell phone, Troy. You could have just called me" Jeff said. "I can't believe you guys have such little faith in me. I love Annie, I'd never run away."

Britta, Troy and Pierce looked ashamed. Abed still looked confused.

"Where's Annie?" He asked.

"Right here, you stupid moron" Annie said, walking out of the bathroom with two rolls of toilet paper. Followed by Shirley.

"Technically, a moron is some one who's stupid so..."

"Shut up, Jeff!" Annie walked over to Abed and hit him on the arm. "Why are you trying to ruin my life?"

"Um.."

"This wedding was perfect, Abed. It was my masterpiece. My life's work. No wedding could ever compare to this wedding and then you killed it. And you're supposed to be the best man!" Annie shouted. Everyone else in the room looked terrified of the little brunette, except for who Abed still looked confused..

"I already told Jeff, it's so we'd fit our genre better."

"This isn't TV Abed!" Annie shouted. She was so high pitched that everyone held their ears at the sound. Abed even flinched a little. "My wedding is supposed to start in ten minutes, but it won't because of you. So you and everyone else here is going to help make everything right for my dream wedding or else you'll never see the light of day again!"

"Listen to her Abed, she has a crafty Jew brain" Pierce whispered to Abed.

"Say the whole word!" Annie squeaked. Jeff put his arm around her to calm her down.

"Abed, I know you want to fit our genre, but wouldn't it be better if we went against the traditions of comedy. You know, so _the viewers_ don't feel like they're watching just another sitcom wedding" Jeff said. Abed thought about it for a second, then nodded.

"Okay, I think that could work."

"Great. So what do we do?" Jeff asked.

"I don't know. What are the problems?" Abed asked.

"Well for starters, Britta looks like a hobo" Annie said. Britta looked insulted.

"But it's Beavis and Butt-head!"

"Who?" Troy and Annie said together.

"You're not that _younk!"_ Shirley snapped again.

"Shirley, shut up, you're sick" Jeff said. Shirley glared at him.

"Well what am I supposed to wear?" Britta asked.

"I don't know, maybe the pretty dress I picked out just for you" Annie said.

"That's at home."

"You could wear Shirley's dress" Jeff said.

"_Whad_ now?" Shirley asked.

"Shirley, you're too sick to be in a wedding" Jeff said.

"I'm_ nod sigg_!"

"What language is she speaking?" Pierce asked. Jeff gave Shirley an "I told you so" look.

"_Bud_ I wanna be in the _weddink_" Shirley whined.

"Britta's still single. You can be in her wedding" Jeff said. Britta opened her mouth to give some speech about why marriage is a joke and she'll never go down that road, but Pierce beat her to it.

"That's ridiculous, Britta's never gonna get married" Pierce said. "Same sex marriage isn't legal in Colorado."

Britta glared at him.

"Shirley, you can sit in the front row and watch, but you're too sick to be maid of honor, now. So just let Britta do it" Annie said.

"Well, _whad_ am I _suppozed do_ wear?"

"You can wear her Butt-face and Beef-head T-shirt." Shirley looked at the shirt in disgust.

"You just had _do_ be _Bridda_ on their _weddink_ day, didn't you?" Britta mouthed, her an "I'm sorry" as they went to the bathroom to swap clothes.

"Now for the other wardrobe malfunction" Annie turned to Jeff. "Swap shirts with Pierce."

"I don't wanna wear his shirt" Pierce and Jeff said together.

"Well, Troy's has blood on it, and Abed's would be too small." Jeff looked insulted so Annie added, "Because you're muscly, not fat."

"Okay, fine" Pierce said, and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Not here!" Troy shouted quickly.

"Your loss" Pierce said, as he walked out of the room, followed by a reluctant Jeff.

"And you two" Annie said, turning to Troy and Abed. "We need a photographer."

"I can do it" Abed said.

"Okay, and what about our flower problem?"

"Oh, I know how to make origami!" Troy exclaimed, happily. Annie and Abed stared at him in confusion.

"I can make flowers out of napkins" Troy elaborated.

Annie sighed. "I guess that'll have to do." Troy nodded and ran out of the room to find paper.

"What about the food?"

"I still know how to make chicken fingers" Abed said. "We could just buy some at the store and I could make them."

"Chicken fingers at a wedding?"

"Better than pork chops."

"_You_ ordered the pork chops."

"Sorry."

"It's fine. Just go make some chicken fingers, and fast."

Abed ran out of the room urgently, while Shirley and Britta re-entered in each others clothes.

"You _wouldn'd_ believe _id! Bridda's_ jeans _fid_ me!" Shirley exclaimed.

"You should join the sisterhood" Jeff said as he and Pierce returned. The dress was a little too big on Britta, as was the shirt on Jeff. The pink shirt squeezed Pierce a little, while Britta's clothes, oddly fit Shirley perfectly. Annie tried not to laugh at her friends ridiculous looks.

"What now?" Shirley asked.

"Go stall the wedding" Annie said. Shirley and Britta nodded and left. Pierce was right behind them but was stopped by Jeff.

"Don't flirt with my mom" He said in a warning tone.

"Jeffrey, I can't help it. Margaret and I have a special connection."

"What connection?"

"We're in love."

"You've known her for a day!" Jeff exclaimed, angrily.

"I can't help it Jeffrey, her love is my drug" Pierce said.

"Okay Kesha, but if you say that to her she'll probably file a restraining order" Jeff said. Pierce shrugged and walked out of the room. Jeff turned to his fiancée and smiled.

"And then there were two" He said. "You're really hot when you take charge by the way" He walked over to her and put his arms around her ready to kiss her, but she was completely distracted.

"We still need to find a guitarist" She said.

"We'll take care of it later" Jeff said.

"We can't wait 'till later, our wedding started five minutes ago" She protested.

"Okay fine, I'll call a guitarist in a second" Jeff said, and tried to kiss her. Annie backed away.

"What guitarist?" She asked like it was the most important thing in the universe.

"Annie, relax, I'll take care of it."

"That's what you said this morning, and look what happened."

"That's 'cos I was going up against Abed. You know that's not a fair fight."

"We still have another problem."

"What?"

"My hair looks gross" She said. Jeff smiled.

"So take it down. I always liked it better down anyway."

"What about Dean Pelton?"

"We'll put him with my grandfather with dementia."

"How come _now_ you can solve all the problems?"

"Because I want sex" Jeff said with a grin.

"I'm in my wedding dress."

"Well by all means, please take it off."

"You'll see it."

"I'll close my eyes."

"No, remember last time you tried to do this with your eyes closed?"

"It wasn't so bad, I only hurt my leg a little."

"You broke it."

"T'was but a scratch."

"Jeff, we're not having sex now."

At that moment Grandma walked in.

"What happened? They said you were running late. Did you change your mind? Do you want me to get Salomon?"

"Salomon?" Jeff asked giving Annie a suspicious look. Annie rolled her eyes.

"Everything's fine, Grandma." Grandma nodded and then glared at Jeff.

"Jeffrey" She said coldly.

"Gertrude" He replied, with the same tension.

"Nice to see you again."

"You too."

"We missed you at Hanukkah last year."

"Yes well, I had to work."

"_And_ you're not Jewish."

"That too."

Grandma forced a smile to him. He forced one back.

"Well, congratulations to both of you" She said, awkwardly.

"Thanks." Grandma nodded once more before she left. Jeff turned to Annie.

"Salomon?"

"You don't wanna know."

"Your grandmother hates me."

"No she doesn't" Annie tried. Jeff looked skeptical. "She just hates that you're not Jewish."

"You know, I could convert if you'd like" Jeff said.

"You don't have to do that" Annie said.

"I know, but I don't want your grandmother to hate me for the rest of our lives" Jeff said.

"You'd convert just to please my grandmother?"

"Well yeah, she's practically family, right?" Jeff said, bashfully. Annie smiled and started undoing his tie.

"What are you doing?"Jeff asked, the corners of his lips beginning to curl upwards.

"Pre-wedding sex. I don't think that's been done before in a sitcom wedding" Annie said with a smirk.

"What about the dress?"

"Jeff, we're eating chicken fingers for food. I don't think we could have anymore bad luck."

"Yeah but chicken fingers are-" Jeff never finished the sentence. Instead Annie kissed him. He pulled the bedsheets from around her and started unzipping her dress. She pushed him towards the bed. When they fell on it together, Annie pulled away and began to giggle. Jeff watched her with the special Annie look on his face. He ran his hand gently down the side of her face.

"What?" Annie asked self-consciously. Oh god, her hair wasn't turning him off was it? Of course it was. Ugh, why did she let Atalay do this to her.

"You're gonna be Mrs Winger today" He said with a smile.

"You make me sound like your mom" Annie said blushing.

"No, my mom is Mrs Hawthorne" He said with disgust. Annie laughed.

"I love you."

"Save it for the alter, Edison." Annie grinned, and kissed him again.

XXX

Despite everything that had happened, the wedding went perfectly. But in a rather imperfect way. If Jeff had to describe it he'd probably say it was "incredibly Greendale". Which indeed it was, to the point of nostalgia. There was nothing more Greendale than walking down the aisle to Vaughn playing Annie's song, (Annie didn't think hiring Vaughn was much different then letting a high guitarist play, but they figured barefoot hippie was better than stoned out guy they don't know), while Abed took pictures on the best camera he could find, and the the flower girl threw bits of origami that Troy made.

Annie had let her hair down, like Jeff had suggested, which had made him give her the Annie look again and had given her flashbacks to studying for debate and a perfect first kiss.

Jeff had told his mother Pierce was gay, which wasn't hard to believe since he was wearing a tight pink shirt. Pierce of course, kept cluelessly flirting with her until a pointy nosed man with Jeff's eyes showed up.

"Who's that douche?" Pierce had asked Jeff, jealousy written across his face.

"Dear old dad" Jeff had answered. After that Pierce kept his distance for a while. (Not that it mattered, by the end of the reception he and Margaret were caught making out in a closet, by Britta. She didn't tell Jeff, she figured his day had been stressful enough).

Shirley sat with Mr and Mrs Edison and watched the wedding while Britta played maid of honor and Troy played best man. Abed was busy taking pictures like he was some kind of crazy paparazzo.

The ceremony was beautiful. Mr and Mrs Edison cried. Shirley cried. Margaret Winger cried. Britta cried. Troy cried. And whole lot of other family members cried with them. Annie thought she even saw Jeff's eyes get watery for a moment, not that he'd ever admit it of course. He was grinning at her for the whole thing. Her heart was racing throughout the entire ceremony. She was afraid she'd trip walking down the aisle, or say her vows wrong, or Jeff would suddenly realize he didn't want to marry her and run away. But none of that happened. Everything went smoothly. She said her "I do" a little fast and Jeff had smiled and mouthed "you're adorable" to her. And then they'd shared a kiss that was better than any other kiss they'd ever shared, because she was standing at an alter with Jeff Winger, in a magic dress.

The reception was a lot of fun. Dean Pelton had Abed take a special picture to send to Greendale and have painted in their old study room. Vaughn sang _Britta's a B_ which was a huge hit among guests. Pierce even played keyboard with him. Britta was initially angry at first but then Abed asked her to dance and she cheered up a bit. Annie danced with her dad for a while, while Jeff tried to get on Grandma's good side. He wasn't very successful but the fact that he was trying made Annie want to kiss him over and over again.

They had sex in the bedroom. Again. Twice. Then they went back to the reception. Jeff danced with Shirley. Pierce danced with Margaret, (which didn't bother her son for the first time all day), Troy and Britta did some crazy skilled waltz dance that caused the whole room to clap for them. Pierce even took over the music so Vaughn could dance with Annie for a bit.

Troy and Britta both improvised toasts seeing as neither of them were supposed to give a toast in the first place. Britta's was all about how she didn't believe in marriage but she believed in Jeff and Annie. Jeff thought it was lame, but in a Britta sort of way. Annie cried and hugged her. Troy's toast was a rap he made up on the spot, and some lines didn't make sense, but everyone clapped at the end anyway.

The chicken fingers were a hit, and ran out pretty quickly, (which was no surprise to the group), Abed had to run to the store to get more and the dean even offered him a job as Head of the Chicken Department at Greendale. Abed thanked him but said his chicken mafia days were behind him.

At the end of the night Margaret caught the bouquet, which made Jeff beg Annie to throw it again. She didn't want to but Margaret let her saying something about how she knows her son. Troy intercepted it the second time, which led to some "Troy and Abed are gay together" jokes from Pierce.

By 4am all the guests had left. The only people still there were the study group and Vaughn. Pierce had brought down a boombox so Vaughn could stop playing. They were halfway through Madonna's greatest hits. Vaughn was teaching Troy to play hackey sack. Shirley was asleep from all the drowsy cold medicine she'd taken. Pierce had disappeared around the time that Jeff's mom had left. Britta and Abed were playing poker with a deck of cards they had found, and Jeff and Annie were swaying to _Like a Prayer_.

"Hey, wife?"

"Yes, husband?"

"Nothing, I just like saying you're my wife" Jeff said with a grin. Annie kissed him. "I wonder what this wedding would have been like if everything had gone right" He said.

"I don't think it would have made sense if things went as planned" Annie said.

"Why not?"

"Well, we met at Greendale" Annie explained. "If we didn't go through all those crazy days at Greendale we never would have fallen in love."

"We also would have never met the people who ruined our wedding" Jeff said.

"Ruining our wedding kind of made it the perfect Greendale wedding though" She said. Jeff shrugged.

"Or the perfect sitcom wedding" He added.

"Imagine some one made a sitcom about Greendale" Annie said with a laugh.

"Don't tell Abed, you know he'd pitch that idea" Annie giggled and leaned in closer to Jeff.

"Hey, husband?"

"Yes, wife?"

"I love you."

"Good, or else we'd have some serious problems down the line."

Annie giggled and kissed him again. "How about we get out of here?" She asked, with a smirk.

"Why wife, I like the way you think" Jeff said and started to walk her away.

"And thus began the long and happy life of Annie and Jeff Winger."

"Abed, what are you doing?" Britta asked staring at him in confusion.

"Voice over."

"That's really weird." Abed shrugged.

"So who in the group do you think will get married next?" He asked.

"Pierce and Jeff's mom" Britta said with a chuckle.

"Or Troy, he caught the bouquet" Abed said.

"Oh, you two would have an awesome wedding" Britta said with a smirk.

"Troy wouldn't be the person I'd marry from the group" Abed said. There was an odd sparkle in his eye that made Britta feel incredibly aware of how close they were.

"Well, I definitely won't be the one getting married" She said nervously.

"Maybe" Abed said.

"Maybe?" Britta repeated, like if he said she would get married there was nothing she could do to change that fact.

"You might change your mind" Abed said. It didn't sound like he was sure of it. He wasn't analyzing her and pointing out some observation he'd made. It was just something he seemed hopeful for. It made Britta's heart race.

"Yeah?" Britta asked.

"Yeah" He said with a warm smile. Then he put his cards down. "Royal flush."

Britta smiled nervously. "You win Abed." Abed smiled back.

"Let's hope so."

XXX

_Six months later..._

The group stood in study group room F staring at the large wall beside their old study table. In front of them was a mural with a lifesized painting of Jeff and Annie.

"It's something alright" Britta said.

"I think it's nice" Shirley said. They all turned to see Jeff and Annie's reactions to it. Annie looked like she was trying to find something good to say about it but couldn't. Jeff looked annoyed.

"My nose is not that pointy" He said.

"And Annie's boobs are not that small" Pierce added. Jeff was too appalled by the mural to glare at Pierce.

"And my hair is way better than that monstrosity."

"It looks like bad photoshop" Troy said.

"They don't give Annie's Disney eyes justice" Abed pointed out. Everyone nodded with him.

"And she's not as skinny in real life" Pierce said.

"For the last time Pierce, I'm pregnant!" Annie said angrily.

"Excuses, excuses."

At that moment Dean Pelton walked in. "Well, well, I see you've found our special Winger mural. What do you think?" He asked.

"Why do we have halos?" Jeff asked. Annie hit him to shut him up.

"We love it" She said with a fake smile. The dean beamed back at them.

"Oh goody! So can we expect to do another one for Abed and Britta?" He asked. Britta and Abed's eyes widened in fear.

"You know, I think if you put one of Abed and I, it would take away from the beauty of this one" Britta said.

"Oh get over yourself Britta, they're a hot couple, they'll survive" The dean said. Jeff tried not to laugh at Britta's confusion of whether or not she should be insulted.

"You know, I think you guys should do it" He said, giving Abed a mischievous look.

"Oh no" Abed said.

"What?"

"Payback." He gave Jeff a fearful look. Jeff had an evil smirk on his face.

"Dean Pelton, if you don't get some one to paint a Nadir mural in here, I'll paint one myself" Jeff said enthusiastically. The dean grinned.

"Fantastic, I'll go get the art class on it right away."

Britta and Abed glared at Jeff when Dean Pelton had left.

"I hate you" Britta said as she left the study room.

"Well played Winger" said Abed following her. Shirley, Troy and Pierce all went with them.

"You know, your nose is kind of pointy" Annie noted.

"How dare you?" Jeff said with faux-insult. Annie smiled.

"It's not that bad" She looked at the mural again.

"Yeah, it's good for a Greendalian" Jeff said.

"You're gonna pay some one to paint over it aren't you?" Annie had a knowing look on her face.

"If they don't paint over it, I'll paint over it myself" He said, with the same enthusiasm he used when he was talking to the dean. Annie kissed him.

"That's why I love you."

THE END


End file.
